Murder At Plums Read online

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  Luckily for the bagpiper, it began to drizzle and Worthington discontinued his sermon in the interests of scurrying into the haven of Plum’s. Or was it a haven? He had a moment’s doubt. There were damned weird things going on. A chap couldn’t even be sure The Times would be readable any more. He’d found it in shreds last week. And then – there was the question of The Ladies. No, there was something deuced odd at Plum’s.

  Tonight Sir Rafael Jones was dining at home. He was making the final arrangements in the studio for tomorrow’s sitting. A bachelor, his house in St John’s Wood was a temple to art – and like temples of old, illusion was all. ‘Nymphs Bathing’. What a piece it could – would – be. The wreaths and laurels draped just so. The oil for exhibition – and the sketches (the true sketches before the draperies were added) for his own private collection. He smirked in satisfaction.

  He was looking forward to his luncheon at Plum’s tomorrow. It made him feel a man among men, the bluff, hearty, successful artist the world thought him, a man with nothing to hide. His face clouded over as he remembered Erskine. Gaylord Erskine had somehow discovered he was not quite a man with nothing to hide and prevailed upon him as a result to put him up for Plum’s. Damned difficult it had been too. And Gaylord would be there tomorrow.

  Peregrine Salt did not live in bachelor quarters, though he frequently wished he did. His Juanita had been a slim, seductive, doe-eyed eighteen when he married her after his expedition to South America twenty-five years ago. Alas, she had developed into a middle-aged plump lady, miraculously now appearing several inches taller than he, with whom he shared nothing but a mutual desire to rise in society. Juanita because, as a remote descendant of the gentle and beautiful Spanish girl, who having married an English officer had given her name to a South African town by name of Ladysmith, she desired to do the same. By marrying a traveller, she had every expectation of achieving her ambition, so far not fulfilled. Peregrine, because he was spurred on, by a sense of inferiority to all his fellow explorers on account of his small stature, to greater and greater achievements. Having come up against a Rubicon he could not cross – in this case named the Wampopo River – and ceded its discovery to his arch-rival Prendergast, he had promptly turned his attention to archaeology in the hope of less competitive laurels. Now in his fifties, his arrogance and offhand treatment of his fellow Londoners as little better than African carriers made him cordially disliked, though he would have been amazed had he realised this was the case. He was held in high regard at the Royal Geographical Society for his work in Zululand before the unfortunate war, and to the public at large for his presence at Schliemann’s later excavations at Troy. He had an eye for publicity.

  ‘Pewegwine.’

  Her strident voice echoed through the vastness of the Mayfair house. ‘I want—’ He fled. Thank heavens for clubs and their exclusion of women – and thank heavens for Plum’s. It was time he treated it to another magic-lantern show on the spectacular achievements of Peregrine Salt. Then he remembered. Plum’s was clouded by the shadow of worrying small incidents. The library copy of Burton’s interesting edition of The Arabian Nights had been defiled, for instance. He had no love for Burton, but some of those footnotes threw the most intriguing perspectives on the behaviour of that chieftain’s third wife. He frowned, and a sense of unease took hold of him. Molehills might well develop into mountains.

  Lord Bulstrode stamped around his study.

  ‘Dammit, Daphne, where the deuce is my deerstalker?’

  Lady Bulstrode looked puzzled. ‘Not for the club, surely, dear?’

  ‘Haven’t hung it on the tiger, have you?’ he grunted, disregarding her comment. This referred to a famous, though not so unusual, occasion when Lady Bulstrode had absentmindedly placed one of his lordship’s guns behind a deer’s antlers on her wall, following a curious logic of her own, and as the servants were by no means as particular as they might have been under a more vigilant mistress, it did not come to light until Christmas decorations dislodged it, to the great alarm of Lady Bulstrode’s great-nieces.

  Lord Bulstrode was not renowned for his sweetness of temper and his wife had developed an immunity to it through vagueness. On one occasion he had felled a club steward with an overdone baron of beef and on its being pointed out that hospital treatment had been required, had merely grunted, ‘Put him on the bill.’ That was in his middle years. Old age had blunted his violence but sharpened his eccentricities.

  ‘Horace?’

  ‘Yes?’ A glare.

  ‘Did you say you were going to your club?’

  ‘I did, dammit. You informed me Betty Barnstaple was arriving for dinner.’

  ‘I don’t like Plum’s,’ remarked Daphne Bulstrode.

  There had been an unfortunate episode when absentmindedly she had walked right past Peeps, and up the stairs towards the smoking room in search of her husband. A lesser man would have resigned. Not Horace Bulstrode.

  ‘You’re different when you come back from there lately. Is everything all right at Plum’s?’

  ‘You’re just a stick-in-the-mud.’ Gertrude’s face puckered up and the Honourable Charles Briton could see with alarm that she was about to cry. He summoned up all his courage.

  ‘Dammit, Gertie, here you are carrying on with a man old enough to be your father, making me a – a – laughing stock, and you blame me.’ He’d never understand women. How did she have the cheek?

  ‘I’m not carrying on,’ she wailed. ‘He just calls on me. It’s done in polite society. You’re never here anyway.’

  ‘I have to be on duty,’ Charles Briton explained patiently. ‘That’s what soldiers are for. Especially the Cavalry. Wait till we get to India and you’ll see plenty of me.’

  Gertrude pouted. She did not fancy India. She liked London, with fascinating men like Gaylord Erskine paying court to her.

  ‘I only did it because of you,’ she hurled at him, ‘and anyway, I’m not doing anything,’ she added belatedly. ‘There you are with that Emma Pryde. I know what you go to Gwynne’s for. You meet ladies of a certain class there. I know you do.’

  Charles Briton was horrified. That was entirely different. How dare she, eight years his junior, question his behaviour as a man of the world? His little kitten. His Gertie. The sooner she had a baby the better. She seemed to have developed a waywardness of her own. He sighed. When he fell in love with his little kitten she hadn’t been like this. He knew there was nothing between Erskine and Gertie, but all the same – people talked.

  ‘I’m going to my club,’ he replied with dignity, ‘and – and – when I get back, I expect you to apologise.’ He hurried out before she had a chance to retort.

  ‘Silly old Plum’s,’ she hurled at the closing front door.

  General Sir Arthur Fredericks walked down St James’s Street towards the turning to St James’s Square. He always enjoyed this early evening walk. Sometimes he’d go further and stroll in the park. It was restful. He was devoted to his wife, but sometimes on a spring evening such as this a look of sadness would come over her face and he knew that she was remembering too. They would carefully avoid looking at the posed studio portrait on the piano, the portrait of a young man in army uniform, full of optimism for his life ahead. A life snuffed out at Isandhlwana. Snuffed out with undeserved dishonour. And all through mismanagement, through old-fashioned procedures, short-sightedness – and gross incompetence. And one man’s in particular.

  And he had now discovered who that man was . . .

  He turned his attention resolutely to the Cheap-Jack trader on the corner by King Street, offering for sixpence a pocketknife with blades, scissor, corkscrew, a glazier’s diamond for glass-cutting. The Parisian Novelty he called it. The vendor was top-hatted, respectability was the name of his game.

  ‘I’ve got a little harticle here – only a very few left now – going for sixpence only. All the rage in Paris they are. Now ’ere are my last six – who’ll be the first? The paper they’re wrapped in comes free t
o the first. You, sir? I knew you was a gent.’

  General Fredericks, small, dapper, firm of purpose and quietly spoken, handed over sixpence, grateful for the diversion of his thoughts.

  And the Parisian Novelty might come in handy some day, he thought, continuing towards the north side of the square and Plum’s. Plum’s was important in his life. In the Rag – for no one referred to it as the Army and Navy Club – he was solely amongst service personnel; Plum’s offered more. A chance to escape. Or it had done until now.

  Samuel Preston had dined at Plum’s. He would rather have been at home. He was fond of his wife, and even fonder of his daughter Sylvia. There was only one reason why he had deserted the family table: duty. He was a politician, an ambitious one despite his easy-going, plump exterior. In his fifties, now, he realised, was the time for all ambitious men to come to the aid of the Liberal Party. If Salisbury could ever be prised from office, he wanted to be part of the next Liberal Government. He had means enough, thanks to – no, he would not think of that. It was all in the past. Now he was rapidly approaching the top echelons of politics. One had to win friends and Plum’s was the place to do it. At the Reform Club you spoke to the converted; he needed a broader canvas.

  Only one thing stood in the way of his full exploitation of Plum’s. Gaylord Erskine. Pray God he would not have to face him tonight. But it would have to come.

  Gaylord Erskine had a moment’s unease as to what the future might hold. The Strand was glittering with yellow twinkling lights, chockfull of carriages, omnibuses and hansom cabs carrying late theatre diners. Sounds of revelry floated into the spring night from Romano’s and Gatti’s. Fashionable London was at its favourite occupation, enjoying itself after the theatre. Gaylord Erskine was walking towards Plum’s. Its undemanding atmosphere would give him time for reflection on the evening’s events; it was still a haven, despite the unfortunate happenings of the last few weeks.

  ‘And you will never again be troubled—’

  He was startled from his thoughts by the strident voice of a quack, out late peddling his miraculous cures. Not to the fashionable theatregoers did he address his patter, but to the anonymous shades of the night, men on their own, respectable, half respectable, or the reverse, who frequented the shadows of the Strand.

  Seeing he had attracted Gaylord’s attention, the quack made a quick bid for a sale. ‘Yes, sir, my patent hop bitters, but one penny a packet. Can I say fairer than that? Dr Soules has the ineffable effrontery, yes, I call it effrontery, gentlemen, to charge one shilling, one and a ha’penny per bottle. But I have an interest in curing the sick, gentlemen, not in lining my own pockets. I am but lately returned from the North-West Frontier where my hop bitters worked miracles with those Pathans. Why, they idolised me. And I offer them to you. One penny a packet. Not one shilling, one and a ha’penny, not two shillings, seven and a ha’penny, but one penny a packet. Gentlemen, one penny for perfect health. You will never again be troubled.’ His wispy moustache quivered with his own emotion.

  Smiling, Gaylord Erskine handed over six pennies, and received his six little packets before continuing on his way. He would throw the bitters away, but for the glories of that sentiment, ‘You will never again be troubled’, it was well worth it.

  Erskine made an arresting figure, his classic features surrounded by a mass of Byronic curls which at the age of fifty-three were a distinguished grey, though they could still be tossed over the brow with great effect. Not in Hamlet of course. But then Hamlet was not his usual type of role. Ruritanian romance, swashbuckling historical adventures, were more in his line. But there was more than a whisper that he was in line for a knighthood and Shakespeare had had perforce to be dragged in to give respectability. Yes, a Shakespeare season (a short one, of course) was what the Sheridan and, most of all, its actor-manager needed. Who was it had said that Shakespeare spelled ruin and Byron bankruptcy? Well, the Sheridan was far from ruined. True, reviews had been mixed, but his quaint boyish charm held a fascination – thank heavens he had kept his figure – that guaranteed packed houses even if critical reception had been lukewarm. ‘Hamlet leaps into Ophelia’s grave with all the relish of d’Artagnan but to less effect.’ ‘More pain than Dane’ – he was still smarting over that one. It was worth it for a knighthood however. Now that Irving had been knighted he would be next. And Amelia, what it would mean to her . . . Lady Erskine. She deserved it. She’d been a good partner, especially in his early years of struggle. He’d have to steer clear of Gertrude, but it was high time anyway. Pity, she was a pretty little thing. Almost as pretty as the Preston girl. Odd, he hadn’t thought of her for ages. Now he dwelt on her for some time as he walked past the bright lights of the Strand, and then the grey magnificence of Pall Mall, past the foot of the Haymarket with its inviting ladies, and thence into the respectable calm of clubland.

  He walked up the front steps to Plum’s door on the north side of St James’s Square and the usual feeling of well-being instinctively swept over him at the thought of the warm inviting cocoon within. Then he remembered. Now Plum’s held a vague hint of menace, of uncertainty, as though the very roots of man’s security had been threatened. Actors in the public eye such as he were well used to being the scapegoats of eccentrics’ enthusiasms, both pro and anti, but to be a victim within the sacred portals of Plum’s seemed incongruous indeed. If a man were not safe in his club where might he look to? Plum’s was the acme of respectability. He was glad he’d pushed Rafael so hard to put him up for membership. It had not been easy since the committee and most of the membership were still doubtful about whether actors could aspire to the definition of gentlemen, but after one blackballing he had been elected a few weeks earlier.

  Painters were somewhat better thought of, he thought wryly. Like his sponsor, Sir Rafael Jones. Yet as he had been extremely interested to discover, Rafael had strange private tastes, whereas Gaylord flattered himself he was the image of a happily married man. Such stories as circulated about him he took care to ensure fell within the category of the acceptable peccadilloes of someone in his position.

  ‘Good evening, sir.’

  ‘Ah, Peeps, good evening.’

  Alfred Peeps, the austere and venerable hall porter, took the coat and hat with the same grave solemnity as he had done every day of his fifty years at Plum’s. As an eager round-faced lad, he had had to assume the correct air of gravity; now it came naturally. Gaylord Erskine relaxed. All was right with the world now Peeps had spoken. Furthermore, he had one of Auguste Didier’s dinners to look forward to.

  Alas, once more he was doomed to disappointment. It was Didier’s one evening a fortnight off.

  ‘Well, I’ll eat my ’at,’ exclaimed Emma Pryde, expelling a breath with a deep sigh of satisfaction.

  Looking at her over-ornate concoction of lace, feathers and flowers, Auguste Didier doubted the practicality of this statement, but shared with his companion her sense of satisfaction at the evening’s entertainment. They stood on the threshold of the Egyptian hall, under Coade’s huge statues of Isis and Osiris, and the stone sphinxes looked as enigmatic as the offerings within.

  ‘That gorilla!’ she continued. ‘’E just disappeared!’

  ‘All perfectly explainable,’ said Auguste loftily, for once restraining his own excitement in the interests of maintaining a pose of superiority before Emma.

  ‘’Ow?’ Emma demanded simply.

  ‘Well—’

  ‘You don’t know, do you? I tell you what, Auguste, I do think that they’ve got evil powers.’

  ‘Oh ma mie, non. They are magicians. It is their business. As the magic of cuisine is ours.’

  ‘You tell me ’ow they did it then. That play they did, Will, the Witch and the Watch, with the gorilla. First they was in the lock-up, then they weren’t. Then they were in the box. Then they weren’t. And then he cut off that bleeding ’ead . . . And it talked! Well, I seen magicians before, Auguste, but never anything like that!’

  Piccadilly, li
vely as it was with hansoms, carriages, and pedestrians in full evening dress making their way home or to late suppers, was dull and prosaic compared to the world Auguste Didier and Emma had dwelt in for the last few hours and it was hard to readjust themselves after the feast of magic and spectacle within. The Egyptian hall had been used by magicians for decades past, but since 1873 the outstanding partnership of Maskelyne and Cooke in its first-floor hall had confirmed it England’s home of magic. On an early visit from his native Provence to England to stay with his mother’s family, for she was English, Auguste had been privileged to see Psycho, the automaton devised by Maskelyne to play whist against the audience and win. Enthusiastic for more wonders he had seen Stodare’s Sphinx, the head that stood on a table and talked by itself, just like the severed head tonight. But Psycho remained his first love. He had been hoping that Psycho would be playing tonight, but was disappointed. So popular had he been that he had to be withdrawn through overwork. Yet this evening they had seen wonders indeed in compensation, ghostly phantasmagoria floating over the heads of the audience, disappearing canaries, disappearing gorillas, decapitations—

  ‘I do not know how they did it. But did it they did—’ he replied with dignity, slightly muddled in his English. ‘But, ma mie, tonight we saw something more important than cut-off heads, disappearing gorillas. Tonight, Emma, we saw the future! The Animated Photographs,’ he declaimed impressively, with a touch of Gallic pomposity.

  ‘Oh, that,’ said Emma, unimpressed. ‘I thought the decapitation more fun. All that blood.’

  ‘You have no vision.’

  She cast him a look that boded ill for the rest of the evening. ‘Of course, you’re used to cut-off ’eads where you come from,’ she retorted scathingly.

  ‘These photographs,’ Auguste enthused, oblivious to the insult to la belle France. ‘Do you not see the possibilities of this marvellous invention?’